wasting time...

That's right...I've wasted time. I could have been on here blogging amazing experiences, but I am not. Not because I've been doing so well and have no time, but because I am ashamed that I have gained back 20 of those 45lbs.
I could sit here and give you every excuse in the book, but I won't, because nothing is good enough.

So today, it's time to start anew. I tend to write this and say this but nothing happens, and I really hope, for my sake, that something does happen.
I did zumba, but it got to be so expensive.  So I finished out the year. But I still ate horribly, and that is one of my main problems :-(

But I am going to start a new plan today. Not one I've made up for myself, b/c that doesn't seem to work out so well, but one that I have found. I WANT to become a runner, so I'm hoping this will help me to do that. It's called C25K, or "couch to 5k". I'm going to post a quote and the weekly schedule here each week, so you know what I SHOULD be doing.

Soon, I also think I'm going to connect this to fb or at least tell a few select friends so they can keep me accountable, because an imaginary audience, or someone who just stumbles upon this because it is public is not really a motivation.

So week one I am starting with this quote: "Sit as little as possible. Give no credence to any thought that was not born outdoors while moving about freely."

--Friedrich Nietzsche

I love that. It is so true.

Ok, week one's schedule: 

	Week Workout 1 Workout 2 Workout 3 1 Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes. Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

So here's hoping I stick to this. I start today.  "rest" days are days where I will cross train (days in between) with one day as a true rest day. Also, I saw another program having running on 44 , not just 3 days, so I will probably add that in. I need to set this schedule for certain though, so here it is:

Today, Sat, is day 1 work out based upon schedule for the day, morning or evening

Sunday is walk 30 min, cross train, Start between 1 and 3pm

Monday is day 2 work out, 5:30pm

Tuesday is REST day

Wednesday is day 3 work out, 6:30pm

Thursday is walk 30 min, cross train, 5:30pm

Friday is walk/run at own pace, cross train, after school

First week in gym.  Eventually I want to get outdoors, as outdoor running is tougher!

Wish me luck. time to power up with a meal and get ready to go!

Bummed out

Back in the states and the stress of school and exhaustion, and my messy house has left me not going to gym/walking like I used to.  I think I gained a few pounds!  Totally uncool.  I need to get back on track and then I'll give you an official weigh in update....

I hope that signing up for zumba will help!  I'm excited to begin!

259

I'm at 100 lbs away....and that is scary.  I already lost almost half that....so like almost a third of what I plan on losing....that just seems too crazy
I'm a little bummed that some people think it's all my stomach issues.  Yes, some of it is sadly b/c I have issues, but it will most definitely be staying off!  AND I did lose at least 35 pounds on my own!  AND the last 5 lbs I lost were totally PERU!  I was feeling better for most of Peru, and I busted my butt there.  We walked everywhere....seriously.  I climbed up and down over 500 steps, twice!  We climbed up mountains and some of the largest sand dunes in the world.  We walked the equivalent of like at least 120 NYC blocks a day, if not more.....I know we walked around 6 miles one day, and I'm sure more when we were in Puno...which may not seem like a lot, but it is for me, especially at the pace I was keeping, which was a faster walk than I normally have.

I REALLY need to get back in the gym though.  I was able to still work out with the previous stomach issues, but now, with a new issue, working out is harder without getting ill.  I just want to be healthy!

Which means I should be sleeping, so that is where I am heading.  I've started to want to late night snack and my meals are off base b/c I get up so late and go to bed so late....not good!

Adios!

P.s. Official weight really is 259.

265

It's been awhile, so I apologize!  One of my things on my bucket list was to keep up with a blog, so let's see if this will do.

So it started as a get fit for Peru journey, but it's time to keep going, b/c I'm back from Peru! For more details on that adventure, check out my other blog "Mybigbadbucketlist".

So, recap/updates.
I am now at a weight of about 265. (My scale last said 260, but I think it is off, so I'm going to be a little generous on the weight, to make SURE I hit my goal.

I've also joined a gym since I started this, and it DEFINITELY helped for sure!
Right now though, I'm on hold b/c I have some stomach issues that are causing me pain and discomfort and make it difficult...but I've been pushing through the best I can.  Peru was preplanned, so I was not going to miss it on account of my stomach, so I just dealt.  I did do a lot of exercise in Peru as we walked SO MUCH and I climbed what felt like a million stairs, up and down, basically twice! (Once we took a path, but it was all uphill! Then we took the steps going down.)

I am proud that I lost weight so far.  I can't believe how much it is.  I don't feel as though I have though, b/c I still have so far to go.  I haven't changed wardrobes or gone down any sizes yet, though I guess my pants are a little looser.  Part of it I think is my stomach problem, which leaves me bloated 99% of the time!

But I am stronger, which is nice, especially in the legs.  I did several 15 min. miles, which is an accomplishment for me.  I do still have the Disney Half Marathon in mind!

I do have quite a ways to go though.  However I am encouraged by the picture I put up.  Since the original was taken when I started, I look at myself now and think, wow, I DO look smaller than that!  Check it out, this is now, well most recent.  I have to put up one from me in Peru as soon as I get those photos.  My camera was stolen so I'm relying on shared pics, but we just got back so people need to chillax first! So, me, the middle of June, bridal shower, with Kristian!:

So I think it's most evident in the face and my mom says that I am a little flatter in the middle.  I do wish the width would go though...any tricks or great exercises for that?


Well tis bedtime for me.  OH! And one more story...funny times...when the Dr's weighed me end of Jan, they just wrote it down per normal.  Then, in June, they went to set the scale at 300 and it was too heavy!  They had to move it back to 250!  When the nurse recorded my weight of 271, she had this surprised look on her face, like "wow, I wasn't expecting that".  That moment was nice...I knocked her view out of the water!

Ok, NOW it is bedtime.  My tummy hurts :-(.  night all.  Hope to actually keep this afloat!  about 100 lbs to go!  Crazy!

Daggonnit!

I feel sore, like I've been using muscles. But today, I did not lose anything.  I think I gained .2 lbs. THIS SUCKS!
I'm really angry.  I am watching the biggest loser and I think I need to work harder. I just had a 500 calorie dinner b/c I STUPIDLY waited too long to eat.  I'm still under my calories b/c my other meals were very low.  I even ran more today, I was feeling proud. But then I screwed up at dinner and now I'm all mad at myself. I so wish I did have a gym.  I'd go right now! I can't afford it! DAMN!
Ok, so I need to do some crunches till I can't, and lift weights til I can't. I need to stay driven. I'm going to go back to school soon and it will not be ok for me to slack off b/c I'm "tired". Ok, bedtime, it is too late....

Here we go....

303!  I went down a pound in 24 hours!
Still dehydrated though!  darn 64 oz of water is killing me. And my bladder!  So, I made it through another under 1500 calorie day! Woot!
Also, prepped everything for tomorrow's lunch and snacks.  I'll make bfast in the morning, and then dinner when I get home.  I was supposed to make the tuna melt, but I might try to use up the turkey, or make chicken since it will go bad soon. Maybe make some for dinner and tomorrow's lunch.  Yeah, that sounds like a plan!
So I need to devise a plan now that I'm finally going back to work, b/c I eat so early in the day, and I can't change that!
Like tomorrow I have a delay, so I'm going to eat bfast at 6:30/7, eat my snack at 9:30, school starts at 10, eat lunch at 11:30ish, and snack at 3:10 with drama. Then dinner is at 6ish!
So here's the plan on Purple days:
Eat bfast at 7/7:30, eat snack at 10:40, eat my lunch at 1:30, my break time, and eat snack at 4.
On White days there is a problem.  Right now, I'm going to have to skip snack. Like I'll need to eat breakfast, then lunch at 10:40, then snack at 3:10, then dinner at 5.  I have no break after 10:40! Boo!

Oh well, tis the way of it.  I can't get up before 5:30....and sometimes not even then.  I'm so not a morning person.

Walked 1.1 miles today in less time than yesterday! YAY!

Also made those portabella mushroom pizzas. Turned out well, tasted good, lost most of them to the oven!  I dropped the pan, and it sucked.  I had a huge mess to clean up!

I also made this dip and tried jicama.  It's a Mexican potato, kind of, that tastes like a radish, a juicy, apple like radish. The dip, I was nervous about. I used Almond instead of pb, b/c I have a student alergic to pb, then tofu, honey, and lime.  It is surprisingly excellent!  Now let's just hope the jicama goes well with it!

Also prepped my fruit for tomorrow, and had an extra glass of milk today b/c I was lacking.

This week will be better for eating more though. I HAVE to get up early so I will eat most of my meals!  I keep getting up late, and therefore not eating breakfast or morning snack!  Not good! Need to go to bed much earlier.  With getting up early tomorrow, and such a late sleep, I will probably be more tired, and at least go to bed on time tomorrow night!
That is, if we have school of course...
Then there is always the issue more winter weather this coming weekend....ugh!

Ahhhh....it's too late to be up and typing on my journal that no one will ever read but me.  HOWEVER, that is ok, b/c I was reading day 4, and I'm supposed to write it down.  Not just my calories and food, but also why I'm doing this, and feelings of negativity drawing me to eat. Right now, my reasoning is clearer each day:
1. I want to keep up with my friends in Peru
2. I want to feel energetic, youthful, and beautiful.  I am in the eyes of God, but I still don't feel it.
3. I went to the doctor today, and she hasn't found something wrong with me yet, but I'm sure it is weight related. TOO mush fat in my blood for sure. Yuck! I saw it! I need to get healthy.  My life depends on it, my future depends on it, my students depend on it! My family depends on it.  I want to have kids some day....and they depend on it!  I DEPEND ON IT! 

So, God, Please help me.  That is the only thing in this book I can't agree with, that it is all up to me, to empower myself, to be selfish, etc. I can't be selfish, but I CAN cut out the unimportant things in my life that take up time, like laziness! So please help me to work at this.  I cannot do this alone. Help me to become a healthier, stronger person. The person I know I can be!  Thank you GOD!

Night!

P.S. If I do find that I have a reader, even just one, I will put recipes up if you like...if you comment to let me know ;-)

Here's to day 2 success!

Ok, so I got this book, 30 days to jump start your health, by the people from the biggest loser.  I think this is one show I can relate to, b/c many people aren't there to only lose 20-30 lbs.  This is a life changing thing for them.

So I just finished day two, and things are going well.  Day 1 went AWESOMELY, ate 1585 calories, my new daily allowance, and did exercises! P.S. I love my ipod.  It is also my food and exercise list. I write down everything there, and the calories. It is awesome. my own little food journal! So I don't have to write it here too, which might be boring.  If someone ever actually said they read this, then maybe I will.  I will definitely post good recipes as I use them, with nutrients listed!  Yesterday (and today) I had steamed shrimp, and I put cayenne pepper, garlic, and rosemary on it.  I also had steamed broccoli and brown long grain rice. I will say that brown rice is not only better for you, but has so much more flavor!!!!!

I also tried Greek yogurt for the first time. It was ok, but the consistency was so thick I was gagging it down!  Going to totally use it in smoothies, dips, and but FRUIT in it to help with the whole texture thing.  It has no fat and 16g of protein in 6oz. It is crazy good for you!

Tomorrow I may make hummus...we'll see if I'm up for it.  I do need to clean and whatnot.

Today was not a good day though, in regards to eating, b/c I consumed too LITTLE calories.  Yes, that is possible.  I was just not hungry.  I made myself eat at times.  I only ate 700 calories today. AND I still worked out. NOT good! And I didn't drink my 64 oz of water like I was supposed to. Barely had 32.

I did get more groceries though, AND a food scale! (VERY EXCITING) and a REAL scale to measure weight, BMI, %fat, bone weight, and even hydration...which it just said was WAY too low.
I weigh in at 304 lbs. That is NOT good, but better than I had thought.  I do need lose about 50% of my body weight...so this should be interesting.  Here I go!

Night night all! I wonder if I'll try those mushrooms tomorrow? That, or fish!  Looking forward to the ultimate omelet tomorrow.  Recipe to come later!